Rich and Eccentric Checklist: Build a Labyrinth

I’ve always loved mazes.  They’re one of my favorite kinds of puzzle. When I was a child, I had a book of mazes, and I traced them with my finger instead of a pencil so I could come back and face the challenge over and over.  After a while, I got so interested in mazes that I started drawing my own.  My teachers would reprimand me for doodling winding paths on lined notebook paper and embellishing with pictures of caves and monsters and rivers and forests.  That’s why I decided that one day I will have my own labyrinth.

Curvy Maze
I like my mazes the way I like my women: complicated and curvy.

If I were rich and eccentric, I would build a labyrinth on my rich and eccentric estate.  When I say labyrinth, I don’t mean a corn maze or a hedge maze.  My problem with hedge mazes is that the vegetation is not sufficiently solid.  I want a brick or stone maze with corridors that cannot be negotiated by any means other than finding the correct path. It might even need a ceiling to prevent cheaters from scaling the walls.  And, of course, it would be vast: going through it should require several miles of travel and take no less than an eight-hour day.  Labyrinth

I would have a number of uses for my own personal labyrinth.  First, I would explore it until I knew every path, so I could always find my way around.  Additionally, I would place interesting features in the dead ends:  Gardens, fish ponds, sculptures, hidden tunnels, fountains, and anything else that my mind could conceive. I would probably leave it open for friends, family, and passersby to traverse at their own risk.  And if that were the case, it would necessitate a logbook at the end for explorers to document their experiences.

Activities and seasonal themes could also add mood to the labyrinth.  Paintball and water balloon battles would be challenging and memorable.  Games of Hide-and-Seek would be nothing short of epic, as would Easter egg hunts.  I have no doubt that people would come from miles around at Halloween for a terrifying experience in a giant, ghoul-infested maze.

The Labyrinth of the Minotaur
If only I could hire Daedalus to design my labyrinth.

Naturally, I don’t have the spare cash sitting around to build such a construction, nor do I own the land to accommodate it.  Costs would include design, materials, real estate, and labor, and I couldn’t even begin to guess how much it would cost to do it right.

But regardless of costs, some day I hope I can afford to build a giant labyrinth that is worthy of this crazy fantasy.  Leave me a comment if you would visit my labyrinth.


9 thoughts on “Rich and Eccentric Checklist: Build a Labyrinth

  1. I love idea! Although if you are letting random visitors in, you might want to install surveillance cameras.

    1. I love that movie. I’m a sucker for anything that has puppets in it, though. 🙂 I have a bit of a man crush on Jim Henson. Labyrinth, The Dark Crystal, all the Muppet movies . . . I even require my kids to watch Fraggle Rock.

    1. Sure, why not? Actually, looking at this post again just gave me the idea for a theme park. Maybe this is how I’ll get rich and eccentric. (Not that I need any help on the eccentric).

      1. When you are rich and eccentric, maybe have an ‘eccentrics’ theme park that all the other eccentrics (including me) can visit and have eccentric fun in!

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